Last November, when I was in Italy meeting Azzurra's beautiful baby boy Gabriele, she and her partner Alessandro completely surprised me with a question on our last night together in Milan: would I be Gabriele's godmother?
I was shocked. I was honored. I cried profusely.
It had been such a special week together - days wandering Milan, evenings bonding with and rocking Gabriele to sleep, a bold trip just Azzurra, me, and Gabriele traveling to Rome by train to meet up with her family and to stuff ourselves with pasta and crumbled architecture and wacky street musicians.
That last night in Milan, us around the dinner table, was an incredibly emotional moment, and a culmination of 17 years of friendship to date. We video chatted with Azzurra's mom, who said, "It couldn't have been anyone else." I cried even more profusely. My admittance to this dear Calabrian family was complete - I would be an official part of it.
In late April, as Gabriele was approaching nine months, I returned to Italy - this time Calabria - for the special occasion.
The baptism was held in San Basile, the Albanian-Italian village in the hills where Alessandro grew up, and where we stayed with his grandmother, Teresa.
One unique tradition there is that all the attendees gather first at the house to watch the godparents dress the baby. It's a pretty cute photo op - and Gabriele just loved the flash on his uncle Giuseppe's camera. The majority of the photos in this post are from him - as well as several I pulled in from friends' phones.
With Sabino, Gabriele's godfather,
and Monia, his godparent for the Christening
Look at that happy boy
A couple days before the ceremony, Azzurra had decided to change churches. Originally, they had planned to have it at the old monastery in San Basile (officially called Santuario dell'Abbadia San Basile), but since she had never seen it and worried it wouldn't be as beautiful, she decided to switch to the main church in the center of town. The night before the ceremony, we met with the priest for a rehearsal and a (not so) brief history about how baptisms are done in the Catholic Albanian-Greek-Italian tradition in their town. I kept asking questions about what would be expected of us the next day, and he kept telling us all not to worry - so easy, nothing to it. Which is not the same as telling us what to expect!
As things were wrapping up, Azzurra asked if the priest might show us the monastery, as it's only open on special occasions and she had always wanted to see it. In the car, I said to Azzurra, it's lovely that we get to see this other church, but you cannot change your mind again. Alessandro will kill you.
You can see where this is going. As we entered the monastery's chapel, we all sighed with awe. It was so bright, and with an ornate gold altar. Everyone could sit in pews rather than stand around the baptistry in the back corner of the other church. Azzurra and I looked at each other. Yes, it had to be this one.
And so after the traditional dressing of the baby at Nonna Teresa's house, we all met at the monastery. Poor Gabriele had missed his morning nap and snack, and we had to push through some fussiness. But between his godfather Sabino's candle distractions, some bounces from me, and a general fascination anytime the priest did something interesting, we persevered!
But this is a fair and hilarious sense of the vibe
when he was freaking out early on!
It was a beautiful ceremony. As I mentioned before, we weren't prepped much on what to expect, so we just went along with the priest's guidance in the moment. Minutes before the ceremony began, the priest informed us we needed to choose someone to do a reading (he couldn't have asked that the night before?). I claimed foreigner status. Azzurra stepped up.
Here are Sabino and I holding Gabriele for the moment of his baptism with holy water. He was so fascinated by his reflection in the bowl!
I held onto Gabriele from that point forward, even during his Christening, which they do as two separate sacraments in one. In fact, usually they also do the first communion at this point, but Alessandro and Azzurra wanted to wait on that one.
Then, one of my favorite moments took place. The parents and godparents circled the altar three times behind the priest. The number three signifies so many important things, such as the holy trinity, as well as the past, present, and future. This was a beautiful rite that gave us a moment to reflect on and solidify the importance of the moment.
At the end, since we'd had our backs to the crowd
the whole ceremony, I lifted the baby up for all to see
Gabriele's village
Afterwards, we all headed to Ristorante Barbieri Altomonte, a popular hotel venue for large events that has a sweeping view of the hill town. We started with appetizers (various traditional fried doughs) and prosecco on the large terrace - that's stunning Altomonte in the background.
Concentric circles of life -
Here we are, by chance in the same pose,
at Gavina's Sardinian wedding in 2016
Gabriele with his maternal grandparents
With his uncle Giuseppe and aunt Silvia
My happy little snuggle muffin
Grasping for a sip with mom and dad
Best selfie of the day!
We transitioned inside for lunch, which was delicious and of course overly abundant.
The menu
(the highlight certainly was the fresh pasta with artichokes)
Just look at it.
I enjoyed a pause between courses laying out by the pool, and otherwise was mingling and meeting some folks I had yet to in all my visits to that area.
With mamma (Azzurra's mom)
With Nonna Teresa
With cousin Zaira,
who we had recently hung out with in Rome
Then it was time for cake and all the photos that accompany it! At events in Italy, the cake is the moment when photos are captured with small groups of all attendees.
Parents and godparents
Azzurra's college friends
(including Gavina and her daughter Teresa!)
With Alessandro's brother and family
With all his grandparents, and Nonno Oscar letting Gabriele
grab a handful of cake before anyone could stop him!
With mom and dad
On our way home, we stopped in Lungro to visit Gabriele's great-grandparents, who couldn't attend the baptism since nonno is quite ill. I'm so glad we could include them in the day, and I'll always be grateful for another forehead kiss from nonno.
How much joy this little one brings all who know him!
Giuseppe, when editing through the photos he had taken a couple days later, sent a heartfelt voice message to his sister. He said he was imagining Gabriele looking through those photos when he's older, and how his gift of being their baptism photographer was really more of a gift for himself, to get to be a special part of the history of Gabriele's life and to capture this occasion.
And I feel similarly about my role. That day, Giuseppe was baptized into the church, and I was baptized into their family. It's an honor I will carry my whole life, and I'm so excited to watch my little figlioccio grow into a sweet little boy and beyond.
Alessandro e Azzurra, vi ringrazio di nuovo per questo onore. Vi voglio tanto tanto bene. Vi auguro molte benedizioni!
What a bountiful year I've led. Annually, as I put this blog together, I get to look upon all the shining faces of the beautiful souls that grace my life and make me feel fulfilled. It's a beautiful reflection and gratitude process.
While of course there have been low, challenging times during the year, when I look back, I know I've been filled to the brim with joy more often than not. This year brought new precious souls into the world, new friends with lessons to teach into my orbit, and opportunities for growth and travel and fresh experiences. It also gave me meaningful moments of connection with my family, with my dear friends, with complete strangers. And this is what it's all about - connection and community.
I've taken time to look inward and explore more deeply the inner-workings of my self. To challenge the stories I tell myself, to recognize patterns, to acknowledge where I'm shying away from the harder parts. I've learned so much, and this too, I don't do alone, but through the support of coaches and deep conversations with loved ones. Aren't we all just a work in progress?
As I process and integrate the year that was and transition into the year ahead, I feel so much potential. I'm still focused on themes from past years like opening and surrender, and am also focused on trust and pleasure. And whipping together this self-growth, this community, this potential - I see 2024 as a year to IGNITE. Let's see what sparks!
In 2023, I...
Started the year still subletting an apartment in the Sunset neighborhood of San Francisco, enjoying delicious pho, Golden Gate Park, and proximity to Brittany
Marveled at the apocalyptic weather coming through California, learning new terms like "atmospheric river"
Learned about tropical wildlife at Cal Academy with the Brookshires, getting schooled on my vocabulary by a preschooler (Rosalee: "That's not a branch, it's a vine." She was correct.)
With Elliott
Had a mini Suite 108 college reunion...
...with kiddos (several kiddos not actually pictured)!
Got crabby with the cousins in Hollister
Acquired a new painting
Celebrated mom's birthday at the harbor in SF
Hiked Muir Beach with college friends for great views and deep conversations
Spent two weeks working remotely in Seal Beach hosted by Francine and Phil, filled with yummy food and long walks
Tied for first in my Oscar pool with my past manager Jeff, and donated my winnings to the Malala Fund
Celebrated the arrival of Baby Bashi in Huntington Beach
Had a blast photographing Amanda and Andrew's maternity shoot
Brunched with an aunt and cousin that live so close yet we hardly ever get to see
Enjoyed walks in the lush Vacaville hills, often serenaded by the grazing cows
Took over a beautiful property up north to celebrate Brittany's birthday with friends, including...
Sunsets laughs...
Dance/talent parties...
Bubble guns...
Zumba dance classes...
Hot tubs, snuggles, spike ball, extreme charades, and baby's first s'mores!
Got free baseline seats to a Giant's game
With Katie
Took my first trip with Zendesk, to a procurement/travel conference in Palm Springs, where I got to spend time with old colleagues and network with new ones
With a different Katie
Celebrated Kendall's First Holy Communion
Went into the San Francisco office to get together with my team
Reveled in the peace and beauty of the Monterey peninsula on several weekend trips with my parents
Celebrated our Portuguese heritage in Hollister...
where this year my cousin Kendall is the Little Queen...
and my godfather is the President of the Portuguese Hall
Was serenaded at a backyard concert at Kacey's house
Went full Pinterest on my nail art for vacation...
...at my favorite spot: Xinalani yoga retreat near Puerto Vallarta with Brittany, where we...
Shared the wonder that is #datyachtlife with my new friends, and was first to jump off the bow of the boat
Did morning yoga by the beach a couple times per week, usually jetting down the hill on my e-bike and taking a dip in the sea afterwards
Spent a lot of time simply floating in the calm waters of the Mediterranean, my happy place
Was taught an important lesson by my e-bike: I noticed that whenever I looked at something in the road I wanted to avoid (like a reflector), I was always more likely to hit it. Such an important reminder to focus on what we want, not fixate on what we don't want or don't have. Manifest the right one.
Experienced how co-living works, with weekly community meetings, family dinners, and spontaneous skillshare/cultural events
Community meeting
Making bruschetta at Gnocchi Night
Helping hands
GM Fernando presiding over the Pickling Party
The most onions I've ever cut, for said Pickling Party
Painting & pizza
Working in the community garden
My Barbie pose at the garden concert
On a day trip I organized to Dénia
Best paella of the trip
One of our last beach days together!
Felt truly vibrant at the coliving - I was stimulated by so many different people and perspectives, and felt like I made a positive impact on the community as well (there were certain people who I could feel just light up when I walked into the room, and immense gratitude was shared for the events I planned for us)
Tried for the first time somatic healing, through the Rosen Method, and learned so much about myself - a truly transformative experience
With Francesca, my yoga instructor/somatic healer
Took Spanish lessons twice a week
With Maria, my lovely tutor
Actually did work, sometimes
Prioritized pleasure over productivity
Closed out my time in Javea by throwing an epic co-going-away dinner with Lizzie, who is also from the bay and with whom I have friends in common
Was united with my entire Zendesk Procurement Team for one week in Dublin - the first time I'd been in person with everyone since starting at the company 4.5 years prior
Learned how to do screen printing with my team
Went on a breathtaking hike through Howth, just north of Dublin, where I audibly gasped out of sheer adorability at every turn
Soaked up quality time with my coworkers, and was in awe of how everyone showed up and shared about themselves as we learned more about our career backgrounds and personalities
With my work partner in crime, Meara,
at the Zendesk Dublin office
With my manager, Tim, at the Jameson distillery
Was welcomed with open arms and dahlias to Paris for 3.5 weeks by my dear friend Letizia, during which trip I spontaneously cried twice out of pure joy
Stayed in a beautiful one-bedroom flat in the 10th, near the Louis Blanc metro station that I rented from a coworker while she was on vacation - this flat is a five-minute walk from Letizia's office, so I got to see her almost every day
Spent several stretched-out Sundays acquiring precious goods at the local market and taking them back to Letizia's to consume with wine
Got to spend more precious quality time with and get closer to Letizia than I ever have in all our 13 years of cross-continental friendship, in great thanks to the serendipitous location of my apartment
Had time to explore lesser known Paris spots, like the Musée de Montmartre, where Renoir once lived and painted
Learned that scallops live in shells (true confession, and also, these were divine)
Got massaged by a woman who worked for a Saudi prince traveling the world in luxury for four years before quitting to escape the sexual harassment - people live the most interesting lives and have such stories to share with us!
Felt ridiculously hip jamming along with the musicians at an awesome underground jazz bar
At La Gare / Le Gore
Took a long weekend off with Letizia and trained down to Bordeaux, where we did a Saint-Emilion wine tour
Should I buy a winery?
Next trained to Toulouse, where we enjoyed spellbinding sunsets over the river, our favorite meal of the trip, and my first-ever Rocky Horror Picture Show viewing (with drag performances to boot!)
At Chez Navarre, which was entirely family style
and felt like eating at grandma's house
Experienced the fortified castle town of Carcassone on Halloween
Duck cassoulet
When you're with Leti, there's always a photo shoot
Was getting on the metro ahead of Letizia at the ticket turnstile and as she was inputting the tickets for us, I thought she said "shake it" so I lifted my arms and did a little dance but she had said "take it" for me to grab the ticket so the doors would open and we just died over that one
Allowed myself to fall in love with Paris, finally understanding the fuss
"Oh Paris, the city of love"
-Best said when something grotesque happens
Really leaned into wearing my favorite color (please also see above)
Started to feel like a local in Paris with Letizia and her friends, even running into people I knew in my neighborhood!
Running into Leti's colleague, Khimia, at lunch
With Simona at the market
A gaggle of (mostly) Italians in Paris
Experienced the romance of Paris firsthand, especially at Les Pavillons de Bercy, a fantastical grownup playground with novelties from fairs and music halls
With Charles
Attended my first raclette party (not of the season, of my life) to celebrate Letizia's birthday
Got to finally enjoy my first sidewalk bistro meal of the trip on my last day in Paris (it rained most of my time there!)
Went to Italy on holiday to visit Azzurra, her family, and her new baby, during which time we trained down to Rome and...
Visited the Baths of Caracalla
(Which I repeatedly called Cacarella, which means "the runs,"
reminding her family of why they keep me around)
Spent time resting at our well-appointed Airbnb
Met up with cousins
Enjoyed a beautiful Sunday pranzo on the terrace
Casually strolled by the Colosseum
Stuffed ourselves to the brim with pasta and pork
Rode with a baby on our laps in taxis (!)
Enjoyed the sunset...
And questionable serenades from Pincio Terrace
Back in Milan, was asked by Azzurra and Alessandro to be Gabriele's godmother, and could not be more honored to be welcomed into the family in this special way
Il mio piccolo amore!
Put in WORK to pacify babies that would have none of it
Emily
Gabriele
Finally brought the painting I purchased last spring in Bologna home, by hand
Came home just in time for family Thanksgiving
Kendall, always the best helper
Started "Aligned Woman" coaching with a new French soul sister, Mathilde, who I met in Javea
Through Mathilde was also exposed to the concepts of Human Design, which is helping me understand myself and the way energy moves through me - and reminds me to listen to my inner Knowing and intuition
Enjoyed some major girl power cinema this year, between Barbie, Taylor Swift, and Beyonce
Made my dad come see the Queen with me; he loved it
Persevered through a challenging start to the year at work, and came out at the other end with big successes, including hiring a new employee to my team
Felt like I inspired people throughout the year - there was even one colleague who decided to go on a European vacation after a tough breakup, and said she wouldn't have done so if I hadn't shown her solo travel was possible and fulfilling
Bookended the year with a quick visit from the Brookshires
Spent a surprisingly fun evening with previously unknown colleagues at the Sacramento Zendesk holiday party
Still swoon every time I get referred to as Tia (and now also Zia!) Kelly
Elliott opening his Christmas gifts
Enjoyed seeing old friends (read: kids I babysat) at a neighbor's Christmas Eve party
Celebrated a special Christmas Eve mass and dinner with my family
Enjoyed family Christmas with all cousins in attendance (seven in my generation, four so far in the next)
Beat my cousins in corn hole on Christmas day, with my padrinho on my team (we were not favored to win)
Was feelin' myself on my birthday
Rang in the new year in New Orleans, eating delicious food, learning about the history of the city, and reveling in the range and talent of live musicians
Travel
Monterey and Carmel, CA (several times!)
Orange Country, CA
Jenner, CA
Palm Springs, CA
Xinalani near Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Chapel Hill, NC
Detroit, MI
Valencia, Javea, and Dénia, Spain
Dublin and Howth, Ireland
Paris, Bordeaux, and Toulouse, France
Milan and Rome, Italy
New Orleans, LA
Live Shows
I kinda just...don't anymore? I somehow watched more concerts in the cinema than I went to see live.
Johan Papaconstantino, Olympia Hall, Paris
Spotify Wrapped
Stayed consistent with my basic pop persona, and Bach taking the number one spot really cracks me up.
Special section dedicated to compliments I received from my Lithuanian friend Ieva that I can't stop thinking about and also don't want to forget
"I can't believe how short you are. Your personality makes you seem bigger."
"London would be too busy for you to live, there is not enough space for your grace"
"You're so pretty when you cry"
Books
Goodreads' Year in Books tells me I read 51 books and over 17,000 pages in 2023. Hands down, my favorite book of the year was Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver, which later won the Pulitzer Prize. Here are a few others I would recommend.
Top Fiction
Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver
Liberation Day by George Saunders (short story collection)
The Hummingbird by Sandro Veronesi
Didn't Nobody Give a Shit What Happened to Carlotta byJames Hannaham
Top Non-fiction
Rest is Resistence: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey
Easy Beauty by Chloe Cooper Jones (memoir)
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy (memoir)
Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma by Galit Atlas
Obsessions
Somatic Healing - I'll spread the good word about this to anyone that will listen. It is a method of uncovering conscious and unconscious traumas we've buried deep within and dislodging the ways they hold us back. After just one session, something truly shifted in me. In fact, Letizia told me that something seemed different about me, brighter, when I got to Paris, and I know it was this. I felt lighter, more open, more free, and more myself than ever before. It has opened me up to receive. I continue to do somatic therapies with Mathilde, and it's incredibly powerful.
Pleasure over productivity/"Nada que hacer, solo ser"/Pleasure over pleasing - I went into my Europe trip with the first phrase as my mantra (my normal state is always asking can I do more, and now I'm trying to wonder, can I do less?), attempted to embody the second while in Spain ("nothing to do, just be"), and came out of Spain refocused on the third by tuning into my body (what do I really want vs. what do external forces expect of me)
Wearing purple - I discovered that wearing any shade of my favorite color brings me joy, so why not lean in? I think in 40 years I'll be the elderly neighbor with purple hair - can't wait.
Alias - I feel the need to mention this because my parents and I have spent countless hours in 2023 watching this Y2K-era scifi action thriller. The throwback outfits and outlandish wigs, the ridiculous story lines, the chemistry between the leads, the technology (satellites that can read brain waves to geo-locate people?). It's simultaneously funny, sentimental, and compelling, and we keep going back for more.
Concentric circles of life -
