Sunday, January 1, 2023

2022: Year in Review

The past year has been filled with simple blessings already so easily taken for granted, such as being in person with loved ones or getting on planes to see something beyond our four walls.  When I compare where we are as a global society now compared to early 2021, it's night and day, and I am so grateful for what this progress has afforded me this year.

I share below the year in photos and memories, in highlights and lowlights.  Scrolling through all these beautiful faces and reflecting on my experiences throughout the year is perennially joy-inducing.  All these choices, the triumphs small and large, the little moments spent together - add up to a beautiful, well-lived life.    

There are two strong themes that are percolating in my mind as I go into 2023.  The first is home.  Since moving out of my Glen Park apartment and in with my parents due to the pandemic in late 2020, I've had a lot of freedom from bills and responsibility.  It's allowed me to spend the summer living in Europe, to not feel rushed upon my return to find a permanent housing solution.  But some of these factors have left me feeling rootless, craving to carve out my own space and plant myself somewhere.  I want a place to hang my hat in the stretches when I'm not exploring the world.  Importantly, my sense of home goes beyond the physical - to me it also means community and relationships.  After so much traveling this year, I want my own place to gather the things and the people that I love.  I want to build home.

The second theme is surrender.  With so much freedom comes copious amounts of choice - something I am so grateful to have and yet often debilitated by.  Where do I go from here?  What is the right path?  I am learning to detach from outcome, to trust the process, to surrender.  To realize there is no right, no wrong, just moving forward.  I want to keep this at the forefront of my consciousness, to resist the illusion of control, and to practice flowing, trusting, and surrendering all through the year.


In 2022, I...

Reset for the new year at one of my most special spots, Xinalani yoga retreat in Puerto Vallarta, with Brittany


Took a private arial yoga class with a view of the ocean

Had an unexpected visit from Letizia, all the way from Paris for work

Reveled in group dinners, which still felt incredibly fresh "post"-COVID

Finally got up the courage to step foot in the creepy abandoned barn behind my parent's court in Vacaville (for one second) that I'd been afraid of since I was a kid

Got reunited with my prison pen pal, Brian, who was released early in the year!

Learned and constantly repeated an extremely helpful mantra for Enneagram Ones like me: "I am good" - this helps me dissociate my intrinsic worth from productivity and perfectionism

Lost to my dad at mini golf (shocking)

Enjoyed several wine tastings with friends at my favorite spot in Napa, Laird Family Estate
Spring with James and Caroline

Fall with Preetam and Brittany

Hit the three year mark working at Zendesk

Built (almost) successful Leprechaun traps with my little cousins Dylan and Kendall

Enjoyed kiddo time in North Carolina with the Brookshires

Became very popular when I caught a butterfly

Celebrated Brittany's birthday around SF

Got reunited with my Canadian Xinalani friends when they visited Napa

Disconnected for a couple more tech shabbats (24 hours with no technology)

Celebrated Easter with the family, including grandma visiting from the Azores

Made a courageous leap and moved to Europe for three months to work remotely for the summer

Showered myself in orange and powdered sugar at King's Day in Amsterdam

Slacked (off) from this room with a view, my apartment on the Amstel overlooking the Opera House

Enjoyed Amsterdam with old and new friends
Letizia visiting from Paris

Ian and Kelsey's Europe trip just happened to coincide 

Amsterdam Zendesk colleagues

Amy, an old Box contact

And Brittany came for ten days

Got brave with going out into the world to meet new friends and experiences
My Amsterdam stoop

Caught sight of the King of the Netherlands on Liberation Day at the dock across from my apartment

Went gay bar hopping in Rembrandtplein with a Dutch duke

Immersed myself in art and architecture amidst the many renowned and also lesser-known museums in Amsterdam

Became a self-fancied international art collector, starting with my first-ever auction purchase and burgeoning expensively from there

Found home in hanging out with Italians in Amsterdam (searching out pockets of Italy when I felt lonely was a helpful tool over the summer)

Blissed out at a serendipitous Michelin meal in Giethoorn with Brittany

Soared through Amsterdam on my bike (it really is the best way to see the city) - and sometimes I didn't soar so much as strenuously pump my legs to make it over steep bridges, but long stretches along the water gazing up at canal houses made the huff worth it

Hit a low curb at an angle on my bike, in front of dozens of people, and had to jump off it to avoid falling.  One passerby called out, "Nice catch!" and it was such a moment of grace and being a part of the world that I didn't even mind looking like an idiot.

Returned to the town of my soul, Bologna, enjoying the best local delicacies with old friends

Took Italian-language yoga for the first time at a retreat in Umbria with Azzurra (and a dozen other lovely people) 

Ate my fair share of sardinhas on the streets of Lisbon during the June Festas dos Santos Populares 

I got COVID during it too

Made new friends and overlapped with others while in Portugal for two months
Cousins visiting Lisbon from CA

Sam, a colleague I speak to weekly but met in person 
only for the first time in Lisbon during her family vacation

Petra, another past Box colleague

And Raquel, a Zendesk one

New Brazilian girlfriends

Tried surfing for the first time and stood up on my third wave

Spent many days at my co-working space and community, Resvés, meeting locals as well as digital nomads from all over

Went to several Meetup events and Airbnb Experiences, almost always on my own, stepping way out of my comfort zone to meet new people and do unique activities (like board game nights, expat happy hours, supper clubs, local crafts, museum hangs, guided day trips, and even my first-ever bar crawl)

Captained a sailboat on Lisbon's River Tagus

Moved through frequent bouts of loneliness as I lived in places far from close friends and family for three months.  This was often flipped on its head by one simple act: going outside.

Attended Amalia Rodrigues' 102nd birthday fado concert at her home-turned-museum

Swooned over countless azulejos across Lisbon

My mother's maiden name

This one calls to mind my 
Portuguese grandfather, a dairy farmer

Luxuriated atop Lisbon rooftops

Made pastel de nata for the first and likely last time (best I've ever tasted, but oh, so involved)

Went on another yoga retreat, at Alamos near Albufeira in the Algarve. I can't understate what a great option yoga retreats are for solo travelers.  I had meaningful conversations with strangers and never ate alone if I didn't want to.

Experienced my first blindfolded meal and was truly amazed at the shift of senses

Took a mindfulness seminar where we were barefoot and blindfolded and walked through the property in a line, hand on the shoulder of the person in front of us, led by the facilitator. We walked over different terrains, in and out of shade, brushed along bushes, smelled lavender, had water poured over our feet. I had no idea what was coming next, and I felt positively giddy and joyful about it. I was shocked and later moved to tears at my physical response to not knowing: that I could be so pleased and eager to embrace the surprise of the unknown and trust that it would work out.

Felt kissed by the sun exploring the dazzling beaches and weaving paths of Lagos

Saw the famous Cave of Benagil and had a BBQ on a private beach in the Algarve

Basked in hugs and kisses from Azzurra's grandparents in Calabria

Enjoyed many a warm, vibrant summer night out on the town across more than one country

Learned that one does not eat hot figs directly off the tree
La maledetta mangiafichi

Celebrated mamma's 60th birthday (belatedly) 

Enjoyed the beach with Azzu and Ale in Scilla, Calabria

Laughed uproariously at the absolute worst meal I've ever had in Italy (two words: seafood lasagna)

Missed my international flight due to connection cancelations in Calabria, and lost my luggage for over a week coming home from Europe

Pulled a prank on Kasey by switching dresses with Liz halfway through her wedding

Sublet an apartment in San Francisco for the fall, situated just half a block from Golden Gate Park

Finally walked across the Golden Gate Bridge (and back!), with Cathleen

Celebrated my dad's birthday with a wine tasting at Cline Vineyards

Reveled in being reunited with old friends in the bay

Said a reluctant goodbye to my manager/work BFF, Jeff, when he left Zendesk


Endured an extreme amount of work ambiguity through the second half of the year with leadership changes, an uncertain economy, layoffs, and finally Zendesk's acquisition in November

Through it all, was supported by an excellent group of colleagues
With my friend and new manager, Jamye

Lunch with my teammate, Kim

Past and present teammates

Saying farewell to my VP, Rendi

Soaked up family time and laughs
My mom and her brother, my godfather

With Kendall, Ashley, and baby Aubree

Tickles for Dylan

Tickles for Kendall and Briella

SF visit with Daniel

Thanksgiving cuddles with Aubree

Sharing embarrassing stories over turkey

And seized the opportunity for special visits with friends and also friends' kiddos
At Pree's baby shower in anticipation of little Sahana

Meeting Federica (a Bologna flatmate's) baby Nicole

So much fun swimming, playing, and roasting marshmallows 
with Rosalee in Vacaville

Meeting Jeff's new daughter, Abigail

At Rowan's first birthday party in Precita Park

Gearing up for baby Emily at Maryana's shower
(apparently this is my baby shower skirt?)

Got COVID boosted at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival

Attempted to spot the Blue Angels through the fog (I swear there was fog) with Katie 

Took up some new and some trusted hobbies and art projects
Shibori-dyed napkins

Beating cousins at ladder ball

Mosaic sardinhas made by me in Lisbon

One of many puzzles

My first ceramic wheel class, at Pickney Clay in SF

Was taught important lessons about releasing perfectionism and my attachment to outcome through my six-week pottery class (check out my handmade, hard-won treasures!)

Made an effort to travel without leaving San Francisco
The superb Guo Pei exhibit at the Legion of Honor

Sharing fado music (Mariza concert) with Jason and Freddy

Sunset harbor views with Katie (and Brittany!)

Explored my temporary SF neighborhood, the Sunset, especially enjoying nearby walks
Atop Grandview Park, overlooking GGP and the Sunset

Volunteered with Compass Family Services to make sanitation kits, and with the holiday gift drive

Dressed up as a "1950's housewife who has had enough and just wants a damn break" for Halloween

with Cher from Clueless

Was a lucky lady, winning the Dollar Game at Thanksgiving
Tia Diane won Game 2

Celebrated Christmas with the family

Capped off the year by slowing down for a cozy, delicious, and rainy birthday getaway in Guerneville with Brittany

Birthday morning with mom

Travel
  1. Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
  2. Half Moon Bay, CA
  3. Chapel Hill, NC
  4. Amsterdam, Keukenhof, Haarlem, Giethoorn, and Alkmaar, Netherlands
  5. Bologna and Umbria, Italy
  6. Lisbon, Baleal, Peniche, Sintra, Caparica, Carcavelos, Arrábida, and Lagos, Portugal
  7. Calabria, Italy
  8. Guerneville, CA
Live Shows
  1. John Mayer @Chase Center
  2. Stromae @Bill Graham
  3. Mariza @SF Jazz Miner Auditorium
  4. Allen Stone's Karaoke Extravaganza @Bimbo's 365 Club
  5. Earhustle's Nigel Poor and Earlonne Woods in conversation with Piper Kerman @SF Main Library, Koret Auditorium
  6. Jonathan Van Ness: Imaginary Living Room Olympian @Castro Theater
  7. Chris Rock & Dave Chappelle @Chase Center
  8. The Nutcracker @SF Ballet

Spotify Wrapped

Great new albums from a few of my favorite artists came out this year, and I was listening on repeat.


Books

This year I read 56 books and over 19,000 pages.  Last year I remember feeling like my selections throughout the year were lackluster, but this time around the sun I found myself enthralled by the majority.  Sometimes one book would lead me to another, like Shuggie Bain pointing me towards the  economical yet affecting Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan, or The Crane Wife inspiring me to explore the eerie writings of Shirley Jackson with We Have Always Lived in the Castle and The Haunting of Hill House, the latter two perfectly timed for Halloween.


Top Fiction
  1. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
  2. Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin
  3. Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stewart
  4. Stoner by John Williams
Top Non-fiction
  1. Bittersweet by Susan Cain
  2. Finding Your Own North Start by Martha Beck
  3. The Crane Wife by C.J. Hauser
  4. Stolen Focus by Johann Hari
Obsessions
  • Ethel Cain - Her breakout album Preacher's Daughter cut right through me.  "Thoroughfare" was my most-listened to song of the year, likely by a landslide.
  • Poffertjes - these tiny Dutch pancakes, traditionally topped with butter and powdered sugar, made my soul swell with delight at every bite
  • Voice messages - this was another saving grace while far away from friends this year.  Voice messages have become such a meaningful and fun way of staying connected as well as an unexpected tool of personal reflection.  Receiving one from a friend is always a treat.
  • Oracle Cards - One of my Portuguese yoga instructors had this deck as part of his altar during class and I was so struck by our group's experience with it that I asked for one for Christmas.  The guidance is thought-provoking and poignantly written.  Below is the card I pulled on my birthday just a few days ago.  Brings it all back to surrender!

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