Before my trip to Italy, I told people I was going to an Italian wedding, but now after having experienced it, I feel obliged to say I attended a Sardinian wedding. The traditions were so unique to their region, even their small area, that Italians from other regions in attendance were surprised by much of what transpired. So much so, that I felt I wasn't the only "foreigner" at the festivities!
La Serenata
The night before the wedding we were told there would be la serenata, or the serenade. This simply meant that the groom was meant to come to the bride's house and serenade her. But we didn't know when Tino would show up, or if he would at all. So a lot of the evening ended up being an act. We had an aperitivo in the small piazza outside Gavina's parents' house, enjoying more homemade pancetta and sausage, as well as local cheese, until at a certain point Tino came by to pluck the men in our group and take them to a mystery location. None of the details were disclosed to the women.
All the ladies!
We continued to enjoy the evening outside, playing with Teresa and musing about what they might be planning. We didn't talk it up too much, as elements of la seranata seemed to be generally unspoken. Gavina's mom and aunt came out to ask if we were still hungry, to which we of course replied no, so they brought out a huge pot of steaming mussels (just like that) that we ate right from the shells with our teeth.
It was already ten at night and we were starting to grow tired. Knowing that Gavina would need to be up early to prepare for the wedding, we played our part in the charade and bid her buona notte, with still no sign of Tino or his musical inclinations. I say this as if I was cognizant of the game, but I returned to our house sour and disappointed that this element of tradition I was so looking forward to wasn't going to happen. "It's just part of the game!" the girls told me. "He's still coming!" Oh. Okay then.
And just a few minutes later, he did. We peaked our heads out the door and saw Tino silently strutting down the street, followed by his and our guy friends, and then half the town. It reminded me of that scene at the end of Love Actually, when Colin Firth walks through the old town followed by dozens of Portuguese people spreading rumors of his intentions as he's led to the beautiful young woman with whom he's fallen in love. We quickly joined the crowd, hushed but ablaze with a charged, excited energy, making our way around the corner to Tino's beloved.
Tino didn't recognize himself as much of a singer, so he enlisted the help of a male quartet to sang on his behalf. We all gathered in the piazza outside of Gavina's parents' two-story house as their harmonic voices broke the still of the starry night, carrying the old-world, melancholic melodies of love up to Gavina's ears. After a couple of minutes, the doors off the balcony opened, and Gavina emerged, her hands clasped over her face in emotion. She looked down at her betrothed, the most authentic Romeo and Juliette moment I could have imagined (did I mention they have two ducks in their backyard named after those Shakespearean characters?). The warmth of the night couldn't stop the chills going through our bodies, causing us to marvel at the beauty of the moment, the gift of love, and our gratitude at getting to be a part of it all.
Gavina soon descended and joined Tino in the middle of the quartet as they continued the serenade. After the main program concluded, the party was just getting started as we passed out beer and wine to the dozens of people in the piazza, and even Tino began to sing. It was such a pure, lovely evening!
Soon, we all headed to bed for our beauty sleep!
Il Matrimonio
Up bright and early the next day, we were amidst a a flurry of preparations. We couldn't wait for the moment we'd see Gavina in her dress, which she only described as custom-made and non-traditional. We were almost expecting a colorful, classic Sardinian-style dress, but then she emerged in this beautiful gown:
We
were all gathering once again in the piazza, waiting, as had become our
custom, for Tino to show up. Gavina told me that not only was his
outfit a surprise, but she also didn't know how he would be picking her
up. The mystery was another part of the tradition. He could've shown
up on a vespa, riding a horse, who knew! The suspense was about to kill
us when we finally started to hear a distant sporadic horn, and the
cacophony of cans. Tino came tearing around the corner in a classic,
orange, VW bus, honking his horn as a gorilla would beat his chest.
He had decorated the van with white tulle, Gavina's favorite sunflowers, and stickers of their family.
After
some breakfast treats at the house, we all piled into our cars, and
then leaning generously and melodically on our horns, we began the
caravan to the church. The ceremony was very traditional, with a
beautiful chorus and interspersed exclamations from Teresa.
Teresa, celebrating what she thought was her wedding
As
Mr. and Mrs. emerged from the church, we were eagerly waiting with
confetti canons and handfuls of grain and rice. This magical moment of
pure joy was the highlight of all the celebrations:
I quickly learned that breaking plates was meant to bring good fortune, when Gavina's mother, after no pomp and circumstance spontaneously (from my perspective) launched a plate onto a rock, smashing it to pieces and startling the guests into cheers.
We took a few minutes as the crowd was dispersing for a group photo shoot in front of one of the historical stone towers, common throughout the island.
Azzurra and me, reunited after too many years!
Our Sardinian household
After a quick stop back at the house for a quick brindisi, or toast, we headed on to Castelsardo for lunch.
Il Pranzo
Me, Gavina, and Azzurra
The wedding meal was phenomenal. Nine appetizers. Handmade pasta. Porcetto cooked in mirto liquor. There was even a palette cleanser of lemon sorbet between the second courses! After each course half the guests would rise to go outside for a smoke, and most of the others would follow because any calorie burned walking meant a few extra you could eat back at the table.
The restaurant, perched atop a hill overlooking the old town of Castelsardo, was breathtaking; 180 degree views of the sea, and the bluest of skies.
Perhaps the most striking part of the experience was the ruckus! You could barely get a bite and a sip of wine in before someone would start another chant, another song, another crazy, table-banging, uproar. Some people literally had to pick their wine up to keep it from toppling over. They broke a table, for goodness' sake. But, oh, was it fun.
And that's not even to speak of the plate-breaking. To bring good fortune to the couple and I imagine good fun to themselves, the guys would hit their plates so hard on the table during the hubbub that they would crumble to pieces. They broke so many plates that the bride eventually told the wait staff to cut them off. When plastic plates were presented to the culprits, they proceeded to rip those in half as well. I wonder, does that bring the same level of luck?
Note the broken plate, still covered in food
Joining in the chants and songs
The afternoon continued so leisurely, everyone enjoying the food, wine, and company, alternating between the bar inside and the terrace outside.
Me with Nicola, the brother of my friend Giacomo,
who just happened to be at Gavina's wedding!
Past the tipsy point
Gavina was such a beautiful, joyful bride. She just wanted to enjoy the day, and she certainly did! Not worrying about details, smiling and singing, relaxing on the patio with her guests after lunch. It was an inspiration to remember what a wedding should be all about.
Il Giro di Castelsardo
After leaving the restaurant, we decided to make a pit stop in Castelsardo before heading to the discotheque for the dancing part of the evening.
There were a dozen of us, all Gavina's out-of-town friends, unsteadily rushing up the cobblestone lanes, trying to get to the top in time for sunset. We must've looked crazy, asking every old lady on the corner how to find the best view.
We caught the tail-end of it, and marveled over the gorgeous moment with new friends in such a stunning setting.
The highlights of the late-night part of the evening were dancing to 50 Special as a group, and then witnessing the shocking tradition of the groom's striptease! Although I have to say, it does seem fair that there's a sexy counter-tradition to the garter removal.
La Sposareddu
The next day, we headed to a house in the country to gather again as a group, recount the wedding, and eat the leftovers! It was a good chance to say goodbye as many made their way to the airport.
There were so many magical moments over the course of the weekend where I simply couldn't believe my luck at having met these wonderful people nine years ago and putting into motion so many wonderful experiences, including my attendance at this wedding. A lot of what I experienced there can't adequately be conveyed in writing, or even in English. I was not only reconciled with my friends, with the land, cultures, and food that I love, but also with the me that I am when I'm there, when I'm in Italian. I had missed and still do miss her.
A huge thank you to Gavina, who made good on her promise from eight years ago that she would invite me to her Sardinian wedding once she found a groom. Saluti! It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Now here's hoping another one of my Italian friends will follow suit. I can't wait to see what the other regions' weddings are like!
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